One of the supposed comforts of the modern globalized world is the sense of familiarity one feels as one travels from one end of the world to the other. There is a degree of reassurance in entering a new country and encountering a new language, yet still recognizing McDonald's golden arches or Nike's big swish. As a frequent traveler myself, I cannot help but notice the cultural standardization hasn't stopped at brand names, but has crept into personal traits as well. And one cultural denominator that I find particularly irksome is what I call the global culture of complaint.
We moderns complain too much. What was once the preserve of catty grandmothers, how now become an all-too-common feature among even the more reasonable and well-placed folk of today. The complaining I speak of is not the voicing of legitimate concerns, nor the healthy venting of built-up grievances, nor constructive remarks aimed at individual or social betterment. What I am talking about is the knee-jerk cribbing about every perceived mishap or inconvenience, the perpetual whining about affairs that do not directly concern the person, and the endless knit-picking over minor details. In a modern world awash in every sort of technological advantage you can think, with unprecedented access to all manners of comforts and luxuries, we have developed an almost pathological tendency to let the world know when we don't feel all is well.
This is not to say that the modern world doesn't present its own unique set of challenges, from traffic jams to computer hardware issues, that can be taxing on our nerves. But complaining over the smallest matters has become so habitual and so socially acceptable so as to be unnoticed. If people actually had the presence of mind to monitor their conversations, they may be surprised of the size of their complaint quota. Gone are the days of the stiff upper lip, when sabr (patience) was upheld as a virtue and the dictum was, "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all." Now displays of patience are conflated with being passive, or worse, being a doormat. So the world suffers from an overdose of this verbal diarrhea as a result.
What I find specifically undesirable about this trait is the inherent negativity behind it. A large portion of the complaints we utter may be things that to a positive mindset would be overlooked, or simply viewed as too insignificant to draw attention to. It takes a special breed of person to constantly look at the glass half empty, to view the world through a lens of imperfection. Similar to the boy who cried wolf, whinging constantly also cheapens actual complaints of merit. When a wise sage voices some complaint, on the other hand, people do take notice.
I have listed below just some common causes for the complaint culture based merely on my empirical observation of people-to-people interaction. It is by no means exhaustive, but hopefully sheds some light on why we blather about this problem or that:
Entitlement Attitude - The modern generations have taken the credo of 'more for less' to mean 'demand more from society for as little achievement as possible'. They have fostered an entitlement attitude whereby receiving treatment lower than a certain standard is viewed as a violation of the social contract. As a rule, expectations from others are given preference to responsibilities towards others.
Inflated Sense of Self-Worth - Connected to the first point, people nowadays have nurtured egos the size of Jupiter. (Just look in the dictionary at all the words listed beginning with 'self'' to give you an idea of how self-obsessed, no pun intended, the modern world can be). Some slight problem arises and the instant reaction is to treat the matter as some manner of personal attack, to take umbrage at the disrespect towards our royal presence. This is quite commonly visible at some fancy restaurant with the waiter on the receiving end.
Too Soft - The average middle class lifestyle now exceeds the more princely lifestyle of perhaps a century ago. The modern world has cushioned us to a large extent and shielded us from tougher realities outside of our bubbles. Once we taste a hint of discomfort, either with the aircon malfunctioning or food blander than we would like, we cannot restrain ourselves in voicing displeasure, we simply haven't been conditioned to do so. No wonder the caliph Omar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be please with him) recommended occasionally walking barefoot.
Ingratitude - A deep sense of gratitude in the Divine Providence grounds a person and lets them encounter many obstacles with resolve. A grateful person will be content even as the ship passes through troubled shores so long as it does not capsize. Lack of gratitude produces the opposite: insecurity causing one to lash out at every occasion. Without counting your blessings, the focus dwells on unmet desires while ignoring the far more important needs God has already taken of.
Boredom - Complaints can be a form of conversational junk food are tasty to indulge in, but ultimately are empty of any beneficial substance. People like to share their complaints with each other in group-talk; once our friend or colleague starts complaining, it can be quite addictive, and frankly, fun. But complaining for the sheer thrill of it is merely a symptom of a bored mentality and a vacuum of constructive thought.
Helplessness - People who feel they are unable to change their circumstances for the better sometimes have no other outlet but to put their frustration to words. This can be useful to vent out unhealthy energies from within, but one should avoid making it a defining characteristic. Turning to God in times of desperation is a far better alternative.
We are all guilty to some extent of indulging in this complaint culture. But exerting a measure of self-restraint and digesting our grievances rather than spitting them out wouldn't kill us. Try it for yourself and see how hard it is to not be a complainer.
